This page is taking on water and sinking fast...there must be some holes in what was said earlier

baked stuffed Atlantic cod fish, mashed taters, green beans,, i figure the recycle page works here as i will recycle the Atlantic cod fish, mashed taters and green beans tomorrow,,,,,not sure about the carbon footprint, but that fish was dam good, and they had no feet, so no footprint,,,, Edited 20-Jan-24 07:01am

doing a survey....suddenly "you have completed this survey already'...and then on the next page "I'm sorry but this survey was closed while you were completing it"......which?...it cannot be both....you don't think someone is telling porkies do you?...they wouldn't do that....

and the surveys from die hard sports fans.... This one was new today: Have you EVER attended, followed or watched on TV any Formula One races? NO Who is your favourite racing team? And its the same with Cricket Why don't you watch Cricket? Because it is boring and I hate it Who is your favourite Cricketer? Which team do you follow? who is their sponsor? I have done a large Cricket survey two or three times and STILL got paid at the other end...every time...I know nothing about it and do not care.... Edited 18-Jan-24 22:01pm

A new question from Zamplia...one of Rewaria's major survey customers..."do you have a secret hunch about how you are going to die?" seriously...that was the question to qualify for a survey...... I got the answer right apparently..which is disturbing too.... Edited 18-Jan-24 14:20pm

I just did a survey which was simply about myself ...it said so...after quite a lot of questions I was screened out...apparently I don't know myself well enough and got some questions wrong.....

What does a 75-year old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn’t? Her navel.

I went to this big dinner the other night and when I got back with my 5th serving of ice cream and cake my wife said to me aren't you embarrassed, that's your 5th serving, I said no every time I go up I tell them it's for you

It is worth going down the page and reading the jokes by the way...some of them are brilliant.....there are two I put in that I don't remember...best joke award on the page (so far) goes to Nichole B...check it out....well done Nichole B you are a legend!!! Edited 14-Jan-24 21:27pm

I have just started a weekly diary...as part of a survey..on my radio usage...they said it didn't matter if I didn't use the radio...they still wanted me..so I said fine...I've just completed my first weeks radio usage on the day it arrived...I told them I wasn't going to listen to any radio all week...this seems to be fine and they thanked me...I wonder if they are going to keep sending the diary every week...just in case I actually listen to some radio by accident....and mostly I wonder if they are going to pay me at the end...I'll keep you posted... Edited 14-Jan-24 13:55pm

HA!

I've just had to drag this one back up from the deep....

Well it all seems to going well so far...what do you think?

You don't need to post jokes here..as it is recycled...anything interesting (or totally insane) is really welcome...

Benson has no control over the contents of this joke page...in fact he has no idea who these people are...and cannot read

Some of these jokes are extremely old...but we hope you can recycle these too....

A very old atheist 'joke". Are you a believer in reincarnation (life after death - a hard concept to swallow - which could lead to you choking to death)? However, I am not a believer in reincarnation. However, I do believe you only live 'once', but if you do it right, 'once' is enough.Edited 26-Feb-23 15:03pm

Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one? Because the old one has shaky hands.

It's like my dear old Mum used to say to me....she'd say "What is wrong with you? ".... Edited 24-Feb-23 15:40pm

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time

I used to play football...but then my eyesight got bad...so I had to give it and become a referee..... (eric morecombe) Edited 24-Feb-23 14:46pm

My dog just died...he was the best dog...ever...they don't make dogs like him anymore...apparently it's now illegal Edited 23-Feb-23 18:46pm

Patient: Tell it to me straight, doc. How long have I got? Doctor: 5 Patient: 5 what? 5 years? 5 months?? Doctor: 4, 3, 2...

Political correctness....you can't say that things have gone "tits up" anymore...but no-one cares if you say "it's a cock up"...why is that?

I met this girl in a bar and she said that she had 10 kids...I said to her what are you trying to do?...give birth to a football team? ....she said no...she had no inside left.... Edited 23-Feb-23 19:13pm

I bought a box of condoms earlier today The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said nah, I'll just turn the lights off.

This duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No we only sell beer here". The duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes"? The bartender says, "No I told you we only sell beer, and if you ask me again I'm going to nail your beak to the bar.” So the duck leaves. The next day the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender “Do you have any nails"? The bartender says "no". The duck asks “Do you have any grapes

I'm taking Viagra for my sunburn It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs

What does the sign on an out of business Brothel say? Beat it.. .we're closed ! How do you make your woman scream during sex? Call her and tell her about it

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit...or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit...or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet pyfon weally gives a thit."

As the CEO gets out of his brand new Porsche ,a truck comes speeding past ripping the door off. "My beautiful silver Porche is ruined!" he screamed aghast! A police officer on scene remarks "I can't believe you! You are so focused on your possessions did you not realise the truck ripped your arm off as it hit you?" The man looks down in absolute horror "Oh no ...he cries "my Rolex!" Edited 14-Feb-23 19:36pm

Did you hear they arrested the Devil? Yeah ..they got him for possession

Am I in trouble? I bought some flowers for my wife. I tried to give them to her and she said " Now what have you done?"Edited 14-Feb-23 16:44pm

To err is human....but to Ha Harrr!!! with any real conviction you need to be a pirate... Edited 14-Feb-23 16:44pm

A lady was Knitting while driving down the highway. Police traveling alongside yell out "pull over". . . . . . . . . . . . . Lady yells back "No . . its a cardigan"

I like rice. Rice is great if you're really hungry and feel like eating 2,000 of something.

The police just pulled me over, he came up to my window and said, “papers?” I said, “ Scissors, I win” and drove off. I think he wants a re-match he’s been chasing me for 45 minutes.

Did you hear the department of transportation is laying off thousands of workers? They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.

Twirling squares.

A farmer had three daughters And they all three had dates planned for this evening. The farmer got his shotgun out to clean as well for added intimidation for the gentlemen callers. At 5PM there was a knock on the door, so the farmer answered it with his shotgun in tow. A young man was standing in the stoop, and said, "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go and eat some spaghetti, is she ready?" The farmer scratched his chin, but turned around and called for Betty, who zipped down the stairs, kissed her father on the cheek and was gone. The farmer continued to clean his shotgun until 6PM when there was another knock on the door. The farmer answered the door with shotgun in tow. There was, again, a young gentleman on the stoop. He said to the farmer, "Hey! My name is Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo. We're going to see a show, is she ready to go?" The farmer again scratched his chin, but turned and called for Flo, who hurried down the stairs, kissed her father's cheek and left with Joe. The farmer returned back to his chair cleaning his shotgun. At 7PM there was a rap upon the door. The farmer stood and carried his shotgun to the door and answered, where there was once again a gentleman caller on the stoop. The gentleman began, "Hello, my name is Chuck-" **BANG** The farmer shot him.

the last jokes page is disappearing down the table and scientists predict that it will only get back up to the top in around seven or eight months....when a lot of new people will really enjoy it...in the meantime...what have you got? (I'm just getting new feedback for last Christmas jokes!!) Edited 13-Feb-23 18:55pm