I've been married three times twice to the same woman lol, it was probably me but I couldn't get a real honest woman,I'm guessing I'm old fashion , but I think the man pose to be the leader ,head of the home

You ladies are lucky . I have had four to five bad ones in a row and you don't know what they are like until you talk to them at least the ones ia have met recently. Maybe I am losing my touch or the ones I have have way too much baggage. Do you guys watch the Golden bachelorette.?

I was married for 24 years it's give and take you have to be able to do that and they also have to be your best friend you have to confide in them you have to be able to trust them also not too much time together that kills it my husband and I spent maybe 2 hours a day with each other and maybe one full day of the weekends but we were never together too much to where we would fight so we always got along that's a big deal but a lot of times like I said it's always give and take the wife I always ends up giving more than than the husband and that's okay and forgiving that husband for more it's about boundaries what what works and what doesn't don't just give up on something because it's hard cuz what marriage is for is to grow old with someone that's what it's about something that will take care of you when you're old not put you in a wherever you know they look out for you they make sure you're okay I'm a widow my husband died from from lung cancer I'd still be married today if he was still alive he's been dead over 10 years I have not remarried not because I haven't found someone or or been dating it just haven't found somebody that would meet that kind of criteria marriage is a big deal if you're going to do it do it and do it for better or worse your sex is a big part of marriage too yes I agree but it's not the only part of marriage people get confused with that you know sometimes people cheat sometimes people mess up that doesn't mean they don't love you because they messed up she might still be trying to grow a little bit grow up a little bit too just like you know nobody's perfect but nowadays everybody's so afraid of commitment they run from it they want to be free you know what so if you can't be free somebody's got to grow up and realize what's what you have in life don't throw something away that's good cuz you never know they could have been your soulmate

Not sure I agree with that. I'm very happily married, albeit it's my third one. I swore I wouldn't get married or be in another LT relationship, but hey ho, I met my husband to-be. Tbh, I don't see why so many folks focus on the marriage but and less on the compatibility and relationship side of things. My experience has taught me that both parties have to compromise and both parties have to bring something to the table, so to speak.

Saves paperwork on the divorce. Find someone you hate and give them half of what you have, was and old joke. I have been married almost 35 years so I don’t qualify to answer this.

My honest advice to women especially in Australia - remember very clearly the well known saying "FOOLS RUSH IN". I have found the majority of Australian men are very controlling - but in a cohersive fashion. The pretend they are not. I know this goes against the Church - but there is no WAY I would marry any man I had not lived with for probably a year. Another VERY TRUE saying is "YOU DON'T KNOW SOMEONE UNTIL YOU HAVE LIVED WITH THEM". Be very careful and look for RED FLAGS - like the way they speak to you etc etc. After my experience with marriage - I will never ever put up with disrespect again EVER. A real mistake women make is they put up with a lot of crap and keep giving someone another chance. NEVER LET ANYONE CHANGE YOU. Let them do it to someone else I say. Edited 02-Nov-24 23:33pm

If you are in danger, you need to seek help asap. There are many organisations you can reach out to. Please get the support you need and keep safe

My first husband wanted an open marriage, so I opened that right up and divorced him. My second husband became a disgusting drunk, so I divorced him because my babies were not going to live with that. I was about to give up until I met my Superman. He was the brother of a good friend of mine who was murdered. He swooped in, loved me and my kids, worked hard to give us everything he could and is still here 40 years later. Sometimes people just change and grow apart. But when you do find the right one, it can be so good.

Well my only opinion is it is cheaper to get married then divorced think about it have a good day luck everybody.

Because of everyone going through abusive partner

Seems like you have a very controlling spouse. Why are you letting him control your salary? I think you might have to report him for financial abuse.

being in love makes a happy marrage

I think you married the wrong person 🤷‍♀️

I’m puzzled by your experience. How do you lose contro! over your salary once married? You were expected to respect someone else’s religion? surely that would’ve been talked about by you two before getting married. He claimed ownership of you? That’s sounds like a “him” issue rather than a marriage issue

You still married darling? Marriage is a union of trust mutual cooperation respect intimacy and feeling your part of something bigger than yourself. What you describe is horrendous. If you're still with the person get out.. If you choose not to marry thats cool to . You have a choice take it Is it outdated ? NO!!! You can get married without bring religious. Enjoy your dayyhhy

Marriage is for those who are religious. Guess that's why so many don't get married these days. Sounds like you walked into these situations with your eyes closed? You would know if your man to be is in a religious family, where all these trappings of marriage bind a female to their sides and you have no rights or power.That's not a 'marriage' it's a prison of control. I am a spiritual being, I have been living with my partner for 42 years, and we are equals. Theres no control, there's only comittment to each other from love and joy. Those that get married for other reasons other than religious reasons, do it to appease their partners or their family, either way it's a crap way to start a relationship I think.

Things don't go as good

We have been happily unmarried for 35 years. We thought about it and had friends trying to persuade us but here we are still friends, sharing the house together and still having friends who think we should have married for the "right way to do things". As we were over 50 when we met it was more 2 friends deciding to buy a house - together we could afford it, alone - not possible. Both of us share the chores, in fact he now cooks half or more of each evening's meal as I have bad arthritis.

Sorry that you haven't found the right person whom you can trust. Most of the people who are married in my family are very happily married. You can marry someone who has the same religious beliefs as yourself and get a prenup and have your checking account.

Lack of morals, respect and abiding by the vows taken!

When you meet the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with you'd give them your right arm. You have a very bitter and twisted view on marriage and I feel sorry for you. My husband is my best friend, who supports and loves me unconditionally. We would do anything for each other.

Sound like sister's marriage with her x human same things. If me my marriage is good. He do even things for me cook, cleans and more. I think I dislike Mary do Mary that. But as I got married old I am happy with things. Just I like had a child but 5 doctor find out was me. It's sad but a nice relationship. It's more I say act like a friend not married is a great gift in life.

We have been marrried 12 years. Trouble is everyone wants all roses and fun. Big parties….. but marriage is sticking together for the everyday stuff not just good times

NOT like this. You didnt mention what belief you are living under. without that it is just another USA reality show

Wow!! My marriage is completely different & I am 87 & my husband 90yrsWe share our lives & children etc .I have never lost my independence neither has he .We never asked one or the other to change religion or sect .We are both Christians & isn't that the meaning of Christianity,to tolerate differences .I earned a living & automatically we had joint accounts for saving & paying bills my man is not possessive & I have my likes & dislikes as does he we have a different backgrounds ,religion,language & culture. He is middle class (how I hate that word) I from working class but we are equal.I learnt his language because I wanted to we even went overseas to his country & our kids & I enjoyed the differences & managed to get language skill.As a family we can speak both languages but we do speak mainly English .We both love being married even after 1 yr getting to know each other 1 year engaged & in December celebrate 61 yrs married .Our secret is talk & discuss everything & TRUST is important too .

People have realised it's not necessary! We can love and commit without it and going through a marriage ceremony does not guarantee everlasting love.

You have been marrying the wrong person Andrzej J I have been married 28 years its a partnership working well for us

Married for the third time, joint account for finances, and no problems. if you find yourself in a bad situation it is relatively easy to leave or divorce.

My marriage lasted 63 years and although there were difficult times we worked through them. My husband passed away two years ago, and I still miss him

too many divorces nowadays than there ever has my grandparents were together for over 40 years now that's what I call love

Why do you need a license for love its an agreement / feeling between two people and no one should give up their own identity for another or change their name if you need to own something and have rules buy a pet if the love is real and respected and open communication without control

I got engaged at 19. I couldn't believe someone wanted marry me so I said yes instantly! We got married when I was 21 and we were separated 4 months after my 23rd birthday (22 months after the wedding). After a few years I started living with a man, which lasted 16 years. We never married - he never asked. But I was still legally married to number one so that had an impact on that situation. 20 years after the first separation, almost to the day, I divorced the first one. A year after that I met my current husband. We were together 3 years, living in separate cities - he was in Auckland and I was in Hamilton. We did the alternate weekend thing until I got a job in Auckland and moved in with him. A month later we were engaged and got married a year after that. Christmas Eve will be our 8th anniversary and I can't imagine life without him. I think second (or third) marriages last longer because the people involved are older, more mature and know what they want in life and aren't scared to express it. Marriages fail for all sorts of reasons. Both parties MUST be on the same page or it won't work!

I think it only becomes dangerous if the other party's intentions were never right to start with. Marriage is a lot of work but it is just as much rewarding if not more. You really need to set boundaries and expectations from the get go and if you guys aren't on the same page, DO NOT GET MARRIED!

Both need to look at the fact when married you become one and work together for each other.

People give up way too much

I believe in marriage but today the world is so corrupt. Not a lot of people want to commit to someone for life. That is what marriage is about. Being on the same page. Really committing your life with someone else. It's hard work. Give and take.

I think some people do, I have been married for 40 years and it is hard work

because half of the married couples hate each other or cheat

You may have not found the right partner yet - I was married twice before I found my "life partner" - the first husband became involved with someone he worked with, and the second quit a good job to stay at home and drink - AND said I couldn't expect him to watch my 6-year-old daughter when I left for work each day! Then - after a 12-year spell where I didn't date much - I found my LIFE PARTNER - and we've been married for 29 years now!

I think it's overrated 😂 Also having the man's surname is only tradition and not by law

Yes, unfortunately you're almost absolutely correct. Ever since the Religious community got involved in the practice and took over ownership of it, it's been a night mare for women. Not that things were any better before that. Dowries, bride prices, and all kinds of crazy stuff was going on. Considered as property of the man, they could be teated as the man saw fit. While we, as a social group, have, more or less, done away with the property part, things are equalling out a little. New laws are continually evolving to allow women a lot more autonomy in their relationships. It wasn't until the turn of the century (1990 as best I remember) a common law marriage was worse. Not only were many, many women treated worse than badly they had no recourse in divorce court. They were entitled to no support, share in common property, keeping their children, or a whole host of other denials. There are still some Neanderthals out there that think these practices should still reign supreme. Just look at Donald Trump and JD Vance to see everything you need to know. Perhaps, you need to examine what exactly marriage means to you, and how it should unfold? Find a lawyer, a shelter, or any other avenue you have to get out of that impossibly abusive you're in.

Well it is to do with religion females are the property of their Partners and are expected to do as they are told. The Rabid Christian Right has been this way for years and most of the Middle Eastern Religions have followed in Lock Step with them and as the religions are written and interpenetrated by Males it is the way things will stay for the foreseeable future. The wife should be at the kitchen sink Bare Foot and Pregnant when here hubby gets home with his dinner read to serve and then do as she is told from that point on no matter how she may feel. Some Jewish Sects are slightly different by telling their males that they have to service their wives x times per week unless they are in a heavy occupation like Pyramid Building or Camel Driving but even then they are expected to service their wives a couple of times a week. In the other religions it is the wife who has to obey their husbands and do as they are told to and do it IMMEDIATELY no matter what is happening.

The cost. Why do people, including those with relatively few assets, money spend, literally, 10s of 1000s on what is really nothing more than a Party? So many marriages today end in often very bitter divorces and, as we have so often seen, the men lose almost everything even if there is just One child, or sometime No Children! Why? I have known a number of couples where the Man has already owned, or is paying off a house and his future, female, partner owns Nothing when they marry only to lose it all at Divorce because the Unbelievably Biased Australian Family Court awards the female almsot everything. Pre-Nuptial Contracts for both parties should be Mandatory and Binding with the Family Court being prevented, BY LAW, from breaking those Contracts.

It costs too much to get married and no guarantee it'll last then it's too expensive to get divorced, so stay single, enjoy each others' company while it lasts.

I never been married yet

I think it depends on the culture. Some cultures treat marriage just as you describe, as a way of men having control over women. Thankfully I live in a culture where woman can be an equal and not require the permission or association of a man to have autonomy regarding their own decisions i.e. have our own bank products, make our own medical decisions, being able to work if we choose etc. I personally see no need to get married for a relationship to be committed, but other people hold different views and I respect that.

I believe in marriage, but then I was brought up when people didn't "live" together and they had children AFTER marriage so the children had the same surname. Marriages these days don't seem to last five minutes before either of them walk away after a first argument because they don't make any effort or have the intelligence to work it out and get on with it.

divorce cost way much more in time and money these days. 2 people in a marriage, 2 people gotta work TOGETHER on everything life brings

people no longer are prepared to commit

The true meaning of marriage has been lost.

It’s very expensive, with the divorce rate so high why bother. If you live together for more than 2 years in the eyes of the law it makes no difference.

IT IS NOT THAT THEY THEY DON'T BELIEVE THEY JUST CAN'T AFFORD TO GET MARRIED.

sounds stupid put your big girl pants on and get on with your life

For some of the above reasons, the marriage certificate, with or without a prenup, brings expectations. People today do not see the need for marriage. They would rather live together or just remain single. In Canada, even after living together for a year, the Family Law Act considers that the partners are married and have the same legal rights therewith. Some couples are getting married for a specific period, then it's over with. I would never marry again. I would prefer to have a relationship but not necessarily live together all of the time.

Sorry sounds like you didn't marry very well as no one has the right to suppress any one in that manner. Now saying that my first marriage was horrific and I am glad I am out of being with such a horrible despicable person who only every thought about themselves. What they needed, wanted and destroyed my relationship with my daughters that can never be fixed due to the brainwashing and nasty natured person that raised them. I am now in a loving, happy, honest marriage which is the total opposite to the first. I can truely be myself and we don't always agree with each other but we manage to understand and we enjoy being with each other. Been remarried for nearly 17 years now. Still happy and very much in love. People don't believe in the sanctity of marriage any more because marriage can cause so much bitterness and unhappiness and we now can easily fix that by getting divorced. Long have gone the days of staying married for the children. If we aren't happy with who we are with, why stay? Leave and move on. Be Happy and find your self again.

My wife and I have been married over 40 years. Not all bliss but worth sticking it out. Two kids, now adults and married with their own kids, still close, great people. The wife's recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's so my role going forward is less the lover than the care-giver. I wouldn't trade the past 40 years for anything.

I have been happily married for 43 years.

I want to get married to my Ukraine Girlfriend but she is stuck in Krasnodar Russia .Michael

I have been married for over 60 years, we did mostly have the same values, however we have changed over the years & as we committed to each other have worked out our differences, we have four wonderful children, our girls had a list of what they wanted in a partner for life, one did not work out after over 20 years & three lovely children, he changed from a strong christian to mixing with people of different moral values which was part of the break up & his infidelity . We only new each other under a year when we married not sure if I would do the same again , if I had not married when I did I would have looked at different careers, that long ago it was expected marriage was when you were young, having & raising our children has been the greatest & most enjoyable career of my life & do not regret any of that, at this time it has become lonely at the top as so many of our friends have passed & I care for my husband who has many medical problems & I have stayed very active he does love me & tells me often this is life & we must make the most of what God gives us particularly when we hear of what other have to suffer.

All care taken but no responsibility 🥹🫣😹😴

marriage is only a piece of paper. Under NZ laws after living with someone for more than two years it is considered that you are living together and if things go pear shape every thing is 50/50 shear.

I've been married for 50 years, I don't know the answer.

Very hard to commit to someone for such a long time Defacto can work the same

you have a problem perhaps

Dear Andrzej J , lt sounds like there are some reasons for you to speak to a group called 1800 Respect if you live in Australia. They deal with domestic violence . Financial abuse or control is also classified as domestic abuse. In any case their counsellors can assist you in regards on who would be appropriate to help you in regards to this and the religious divide issues . Hope this helps .Stay well X Edited 01-Nov-24 10:15am

If you find the 'love of your life' I do not believe you need a marriage to confirm it. My marriage lasted two years and my de facto relationship lasted forty (until he passed away). Love, consideration, respect , trust and most importantly, communication will keep a relationship on track. Truly knowing the person you are in a relationship with and getting along with their family and friends is a good start.

Costs involved Different religions Once bitten twice shy - in other words a failed marriage beforehand No intention of a commitment

Clearly you didn't choose well or know the person you were marrying. I don't think you can blame marriage because of the situation you found yourself in. You can't walk into marriage with your eyes closed hoping for the best because it is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. Some couples do manage to remain together till death.

Marriage is a commitment that has its ups and downs. I am lucky to have married my best friend but believe me there have been a lot of times during our 47 years together that have tested the boundaries but love for our family has always seen us forgive and continue on.

Considering that marriage started as a pagan ceremony, I find it highly amusing that after thousands of years people still need to bind themselves together.

Leading cause of divorce? Yes, it’s marriage!

I don't know about you, but I married the love of my life 54 years ago, and we're still loving every minute of it. It seems no one coming up has the effort or ability to commit anymore. Isn't there an app for that too?

Je suis veuve et je me suis marié par amour pour la personne qui était dans ma vie et elle est partie depuis longtemps et j'ai toujours eu depuis le menque de vouloir faire plus pour une autre personne et je ne veux plus aimer comme j'ai déjà aimer

. Because it's only a piece of paper

Depends on their own choices ,how they want to think about their future goals to achieve in the life.some people like to get married and some one wants to stay single how they are staying ,they need to take so many Responsibilities to work on the daily tasks ,May work or some times doesn’t work .

Sorry to say, BUT you did not discuss important items. Such as religion, if not the same, RUN!!! Everything should be discussed. Ask friends what they think of this guy, etc. No children, RUN as fast as you can. Even if children, not a good place to raise children. They become what they see/hear!Marriage is a commitment. Love is a commitment NOT a feeling. Feelings come and go.

Men don’t share the load and women are run down and exhausted. Women are expected to work all day as well as do everything at home as well. This does not work in today’s world. If both parents are expected to work then both must share the load at home. The woman is not a servant or slave but an equal partner. When men start to respect their wives and be active participants in the union then the world becomes a better place.

Choose wisely. You never truly know someone until you live in the same house. The kindest,most gentle soul can sometimes become a controlling,manipulative partner. Religious beliefs,mental and physical health as well as family of your intended should be considered. As well as expressing your own wants,expectations and theirs before any permanent union. It's not for everyone. Many are happy not to have the expense of a wedding. From the most extravagant to low key can cost thousands of dollars better spent elsewhere. Also not everyone believes in " the one", that life long relationship is one in a million. It's a hard gig,and people grow,change over a lifetime. It's a special few that can grow and change together,accept each other whole heartedly and love each other unconditionally ,forever.

depends on many things,BUT I was married for 33 years and loved every minute of it,BUT being old school I respected my then wife. I am now remarried to a US beautiful lady and I am still OLD SCHOOL and respect my wife as a woman and a friend. Pity that dosent happen any more

Depends who you marry, they do...it's just a matter of time for find the right person

Unfortunately in some Countries women have few rights. One Country they marry their girls at 8 years of age. Another the parents choose their husband. We should consider ourselves lucky that we make the choices ourselves.

Depends who you marry, I'm doing ok after 44 years of marriage but my husband was third time lucky, my first two turned out to be awful!

I think you choose the wrong type of man. Marriage is about sharing, sharing the good and the bad, the rough and the smooth. It's about talking about what you both want and need. I've been married for almost 60 years, we have had 'meaningful discussions' and many disagreements, however, because first and foremost we are friends and we love each other and we talk things through.

I think people think its too hard to be in a Marriage.You have to work at it as its not easy.There is no manual to show you how a marriage works.Communication is a big thing and being honest to each other helps in a marriage as well

You apparently are not suitable to be married. Marriage is love, trust and compatibility.

They do...it's just a matter of time for find the right person

I think its totaly up to each person to decide if they want to get married it does not seem the same any more like it was when I was young it was the done thing but I think its up to each person if thats what they want a lot of people just live together now with out getting married its totaly up to you

OMG! The Story Of My Life! Unfortunately, we seem to be in the minority on this one. I blame myself, for being an enabler, and trying to fix broken men. After they're 'fixed', I was not what they wanted anymore. Now I work on myself, for Jehovah God and His Promises, and His Son, Jesus Christ, following his example as written in the Bible books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, in their own inspired words! ;-D

sometime it works when you go in the marriage with understanding and love. They say a women leave her family and go live with her husband, and obey him. Her husband must love and cherish his wife with love. but I think that is no longer viable these days, because love and respect are been locked away in peoples darkness of the mind

I would of been married for 50 years. Things did not work out. Married too young and not to the right person

61 years married and we have had a loving relationship

Nearly 28 years and my wife has the right to do whatever she wants and let's me be myself but we know our boundaries and respect each other's beliefs and choices as well.It is one's choice and everyone has the right to choose whatever makes them happy

Bcoz people jump at the first person and dont pray and SEE the signs God gives when right person comes.

28 years plus so far, and is pretty good. Right now he is in the nursing home for a bit for rehab from a fall, will be glad when I can bring him home.

L have been with command law husband 27 years. He asked me to marry him I told him him I was afraid to after first marriage when that person changed to be absi e. My new husband understood and stated it was fine

It is not for everyone

44 years and counting.

My parents has a wonderful marriage that lasts 43 years before my Mother passed away. I have friends who have been married 46 years and he does what he wants and she does what she wants. They live like friends and not like husband and wife. He is coming back tomorrow after he went to Myrtle Beach for 8 weeks by himself. She went on vacation with one of her daughters in August.

When it comes to marriage, people will give their opinion based on their own experience. Obviously, happy couples will be all for it while those who had bad experiences will think the opposite, so it's not possible to get an unbiased opinion. But something I read in a novel recently might have nailed it. The main character was asked why she thinks so many marriages fail and she said because very few people are able to love anyone else as much as they love themselves. In today's ME centric society, that makes a lot of sense. That being the case, it's better for people to stay single. At least you don't make any vows and promises you can't keep.

I think marriage is not for everyone. Yes there are some people who say they have had a happy marriage, been married for umpteen years etc. but in reality most marriages are full of compromise, angst and difficulties. No I do not believe in marriage as I have seen too many women being abused verbally and physically, being frightened and after the marriage break up being left with very little. I hear some men talk about how their ex's ripped them off but if you go into it further that usually means they did not want them to have anything. Having said that I know of two men who were wonderful to their split families but they are rare.Keep the money separate and pay an equal share for things and if the relationship falls apart everything is to be split 50/50. If children are in the mix this has to be worked out amicably and mindful of the children's needs and not the adults.