I never had that problem. I love my in laws.

Ignore it to keep the peace. Their behaviour reflects onto them, not onto you. If they are outrightly rude, they could be trying to get a rise out of you so they have something they can use against you. Don’t take the bait. Just smile and nod, and take the higher ground by remaining friendly. If you can’t manage that, try to ignore the rudeness and just be civil. Limit your conversation and interactions with them, they may not want to have a close relationship with you, so they are not going to like it if you try to get closer. Keep them at the distance they deserve.

My family members all got on well with their in laws. No dramas there. It comes down to respect and then you might receive it in return.

Wow. My other comment went on forever. I get detailed but that's super novel like.

I have a rude and bossy mother in law. I don't have a thing in common with her. We have a whole different way of living and opposite belief systems. She's into witchery and I'm against it. She's jealous bc I keep a tidy pretty home, while she hoards and her place is dilapidated and filthy. One time I picked a quarter off the floor ( there's hundreds of coins amongst the wrappers and garbage everywhere). She had a fit and said I was stealing from her. And yet with all that money tossed everywhere...counteracts, stovetops, floors, vanities....she is always unable to insure the car she drives. It's been wrecked many times and she drives it that way bc of no coverage, but has all the $ she needs to go and feed her shopping addiction. You can't open several bedroom doors bc the new clothes with tags on them still that she never will wear are stacked and jammed so tight up against the door and to the ceilings. Makes NO SENSE. She has mental issues obviously. I steer clear of her. She's just not a part of my life. My husband understands why I don't get along but he loves his mom and I don't deny him seeing or talking to her. I just keep her at arms length. All's well that ends well.Edited 02-Aug-24 09:38am

whats the difference between in-laws and outlaws?...Outlaws are wanted!!!

Check out the future mother in law or father in law before committing. Odds on your spouse is heading that way. I made that mistake the first time around.

They may not mean to be rude. Do they have an abrupt way of speaking. Maybe ask your husband if he knows of any issues. How long have you known them? Do they have any reason to think you are just using him as a bank account? I know some in-laws who felt that way until they were told that the wife had paid off some old loans he should have paid.

Yes I did but divorce now I moved on

It depends on the support you have from your husband. My ex-husband's mother was getting a copy of his bank account. He would not confront his Mum about it as she said I was lying, even though she told me in private about it. I should have seen the signs long ago with him. The wife should always come first, but his Mum wouldn't let him go. My ex before my husband was the total opposite and if his parents didn't accept the person whom he loved then they were not welcome in his life and they respected that. You should have the support of your husband and then it is up to him to confront it. If your husband won't back you up then I would lose a lot of respect for him. Sorry for my bluntness.

I never had a problem with my in-laws. I was very lucky to have a great mother in law. She was taken away 2 soon.

My inlaws did a few nasty things. They have passed away now so it really doesn't matter. I hate the thought of separating a mother from her boy so I would never make a big deal out of it all.

My mother in law was the best mother for me. I loved her very much and she loved me too. It was a positive experience!

you mean inlaws who TELL you what to do like they OWN you?

Leave him and tell him its because of them then he will need to make a decision he can resent you or them. If he's a mummy's boy it's over but if he's got big ones he will coming running after you and tell them to go take a hike. Your welcome

Only had to contend with a mother-in-law who was pleasant most of the time.

you stand your ground on who you stand for in life,my in laws never disputed anything in my life,it would not be wise for them to do that.

my ex inlaws never cared what i had to say. they where in their own little world. still dont contact their grand child. good riddence to bad blood

From experience, f#@kem , live your own life not theirs

If I had to offer any advice it would be,be you,if you believe that there is an issue you need to talk about,talk to your partner,make sure they have your back. Invite inlaws over,have a lunch,dinner, whatever suits you both.Sit down and talk about your feelings and try and resolve together,you,your partner and them. They may not even realise what they are doing really upsets you.Family dynamics can be so different at times,be prepared ro compromised do it with an open heart. Good luck.

Show them the door.

Yes,my mother in law. Always treated me with disdain,sometimes said embarrassing things,left me out during family gatherings ,even laugh when I got upset. I chose to ignore it as the rest of the family and I got on quite well. I married her " baby" boy. She always treated him this way. I basically did my normal,I helped babysit my nephews and nieces,helped clean her house and prep food for party's,consoled her when family members passed,even helped her pass her uni degree by reading and editing her assignments. Took my child to her preferred school and church and was an active member in both. I chose to be rhe best person I could be. She can't fault me for effort. I don't hold myself to her standards anyway. Even after I separated from her son I always rang ,made sure my kids had constant contact and visits. I believe she sees me differently now. We will never be besties, but I believe I have the respect of her family and in a way her.

I've always felt sad because my wife's mum died of cancer when we were still engaged. But she was a nice lady who cared a lot about family and was a great cook. Have you tried to get on their good side like for instance arrange to cook their favourite food? If it doesn't work, then it probably never will. Some people are just determined to be "monsters" in laws.

One word Boundaries!

Never had a problem with my in laws probably because they lived out of state

My partner's mother was definitely not approving of me when first we met. She had had a stroke a week or so before we met and was furious to find he had found a girlfriend and so would not stay meekly with her. Over the next 5 or so years she had another stroke and we had to quickly find her a placement in a home as she could not walk. A few days before she died she told me to "look after him" and gave her final blessing. We've been together ever since. By the way her husband welcomed me with open arms but we lost him several years later much to the sorrow of us both. Edited 31-Jul-24 16:34pm

some mothers have them

Always confront but not aggressively let know they do not have to like you but they do have to respect you. Keeping civil and courteous is just a sign of good manners if they continue to treat you badly tell your partner you will attend his family functions because his family insists on being you to you. If he truly cares for you he will support your decision and probably not attend either. DO NOT ASK him to just wait and see what he does, trust he will make the right choice after you choose him haven some faith in your own choices.

I walk away and never speak to them ever again. Works for me and the wife who has not spoken to her mother in over 50 years now.

did not go there. . . still single and happy!

I had a MIL from hell. I kept quiet to keep the peace as arguing with her was futile. After many years I just cut her from my life. She was very good at hiding her animosity towards me (no one was good enough for her son type of woman) and she would tell them lies about me so I was ostracized constantly. Eventually, she showed her true colours to many others. I tried by having her over for dinner weekly, doing things for her, and I won't go too far into all that I did but I tried very hard. Never again. Now if someone is ignorant, rude, lies, etc. I remove them from my life and that included my ex husband but it took over 30 years and me well into my 50's before I reached this milestone. What a waste of my life and effort trying to please someone that I could never please. I do not like some of the choices my children make or made but I always keep cognizant that it is their life and their mistakes or not. I am never rude, responsive to them etc. but I do not go out of my way if I don't like them

My in-laws were wonderful, they treated me like a daughter. My daughter was blessed with a very jealous mother-in-law who even though my daughter tried to be nice and include her it never seemed to help. My son in law has passed away now and his teenage children want nothing to do with her after the way she has treated my daughter. It must be karma!

No, quite the opposite in fact. My In-laws embraced and treated me like one of their own. We are still very close and I will always consider them family. We have family get togethers even tho I've been divorced from their son over 10 years now!Edited 01-Aug-24 01:32am

My first father in law didn't like me. He decided I was a snob because I don't drink beer. He obviously hadn't seen me after drinking a litre of whatever spirit I was drinking at the time! hahahahaha

Yep my MIL kinda pushed us together till she realised I was not catholic n suddenly she went ice cold husbands sisters kids were favourite I wouldn't tolerate it so just stopped exposing myself n our kids too it eventually husband had words about it sadly didn't change anything ...she even left her will 80/20 in his sisters favour

Patience is a virtue

I had a sister in law who was a total obnoxious individual. She made hell for my parents. My brother wouldn’t say a word. My aunt once said “ is he a man or mouse and time he stood up and got counted “. I treated herewith a wide berth

No, our in-laws had the best respect for both my husband and I, never had a problem with them, as a matter of fact my mother in law did every thing she could to help me when my first son was born

I had horrible in laws they did not like me , we did not talk to them , i was not good enough for there son and we are still married 40 years later

I was blessed to have great in laws and accepting and helpful

Yes, they never speak to me even when I say hello no matter who witnesses it. Although they were happy for me to pay for my grandsons swimming lessons, on a particular day I wasn’t working D in-law asked if I would like to go, so of course I did which was lovely until Archie wanted me to shower and dress him whilst the other nana did the same for her granddaughter Ever since her & her husband have been so rude even the D in-law has apologised for her parents behaviour.

Unfortunately I don't have any in laws, some times I wish I had met them though. Families can be tricky but I wouldn't say any thing as I would want to keep the peace. My Dad had a joke about it wasn't his mother in-law he had to worry about but his wife's. Ma was certainly a character and she gave Mum a hard time. Good thing about that was Dad knew how difficult she could be so he shield Mum from a lot. Mum took it all in her stride and didn't let it get to her too much. Maybe if you could get the in law being nasty to you when your partner is there so then they would be aware of what you are dealing with. Break down in tears if necessary and ask them why are they so cruel to you? Then hopefully your partner will come to your defence. Fingers crossed, Good Luck and hope your issues get resolved and if you don't want to do any of that just cop it on the chin and be the bigger person in this situation. I guess it depends how often you see them too. (May not be worth all the drama.) Edited 01-Aug-24 11:37am

I was very lucky had the best in-laws and it showed me how to act when I was an in-law. My daughter in-law I love but her mother is a monster to my son and even to her sometime. I have had to hold me tongue on many occasions but I had reach my limit one day when she snatched my sleeping granddaughter out of my arms. I waited until later and then let rip with what I thought of her. To say she was shocked was an understatement but she didn't think she has done anything wrong. Today she has no relationship with her daughter or her grandchildren because of her attitude and rudeness

Never had a problem in 50 years.

Oh yes. My daughter's first husband had the parents from hell. They managed to keep her children from her when she was serving overseas in the ADF and family law is so flawed that it took many years to get them back. They also tried to drive her to suicide. They even sent us threatening letters. Her husband was just as bad and always did their bidding. Fortunately she now has a lovely husband with nice parents and the kids turned out really well in spite of their horror time with those grandparents.

My ex MIL was wonderful, but the ex FIL was an abomination. Not sorry he is no longer breathing. He wasn't just rude but crude, not just words but his action. Disgusting. Don't get me started on the ex SIL 🤮

Never had that problem. My in-laws turned out to be really great friends even when they became too old and went ditzy

I just keep my own council. We don't live with them so the visit will be over soon enough. Then you can complain to your partner all they can stand. Just remember "This Too Shall Pass."

My Mother-in-Law started nagging me about having a baby after we were married a few years. One day she said to me, "You have to have at least one", while the whole family was having dinner. I said, "I don't have to do anything I don't want to". The whole room went silent.

I've never had a father-in-law, but my mother-in-law from first marriage wasn't exactly rude, she just gave too much unwanted advice on how to raise the kids. My current husband's parents were deceased long before I met him.

My father's mother, his Dad died when he was 13, encouraged and, apparently, welcomed my Mum when dad introduced her, they got engaged and married then to old cow turned on Mum and made her and my Dad's life a misery, endless complaints, endless criticism, mthey could do nothing right. We children, all 6 of us, loathed her.

i dont have that problem now they are all dead now

Yes they were not happy we choose us we ignored them Edited 31-Jul-24 10:41am

I've never had ln- laws but would be really upset if this was the case . I would be asking your husband to find out exactly the reason why it is ,then maybe go from there. Not sure I would have even gone through with a marriage if they hadn't liked me from the start , is this a new development or has something been simmering? There's never any reason for rudeness and you don't deserve it so you'll need to find some common ground and stand yours politely at some stage or it makes for an awkward time each family gathering xx

Swear my MIL didn't like me until I had a child, then when I had 4 I was her fave!

My xs parents where really nice to me but my x was a mums a boy, he would always run to mum if something wasnt right and I hated that cause they would give him anything he wanted. But I dont think I have had bad inlaws

My mother-in-law had severe emotional problems, and I was the target of a lot of hatred. When she passed I was pretty ambivalent

My mother-in-law is half German … and half Shepherd!

I was very fortunate, never had in-laws in both of my marriages. I would have had my husband deal with it, it is his parents. He has to be man enough to stand up for his wife. That shows the wife that he care for her a lot. Some men are wimps!!! Mama's boy and never cut the apron strings. That is so sad.

No. They know better.

my inlaws and I had a very strained relationship and it was easier that they saw their son alone!

My in-laws were awesome I always felt like I was part of the family. Sadly they have both passed away.

i like my in lawz heheheehehheehheeehehehhheheheeehe

Had a daughter in law that left a little to be desired.. so boot was on the other foot there.

i used to have great in-laws, i was away from home a lot, sometimes a month or more, my in-laws helped my kids mother while i was working, and when i was home they treated me like their son, means a lot when you grow up without that,,, nice one holly😉

oh boy, some of the questions.... Maybe try communication.

My mother-in-law was always telling me that I didn't do things right until I had had enough. I told her to mind her own business and my father-in-law said yes because we can only do our best, and that's our affair. That settled her down. In life we all make mistakes and we have to live with it.

I did not chabge to suit my mother in law and she did not change for me, She did not like me all that much and I came to accept that. I was sad because she had a bad time before she passed. Anyway my husband and I have been married 25 years so there is that,

My partner hates my family so much, so she must feel this from my mother. I don't completely understand this, but it mainly culture difference. I now hate my mothers Husband that much that I feel like bashing him in the face 365 days a year, I don't see my little half sisters father any more.

Got along fine after they came out of shock as they thought their son had married someone really young ... what a compliment that was ... as I was almost 30!!!

Luckily I haven't had to deal with that yet

This has never happened to me me inlaws where lovely and we all got on really well they where kind and thoughtful all I can say is do your best and be yourself and keep the peace and treat them with respect

Just be yourself and try to be kind.

You shouldn't change for anyone, especially your inlaws. Your husband should talk to them and let them know if they are rude to you, they are being disrepect to you and your husband, if they can't behave and be grown ups then they need to stay away. Your husband married you for who you are, why change that to please his parents.

We posted my mother-in-law an invitation to our wedding the day after it was on to ensure there was no way she could attend! Luckily I only got to see her one or two times before she died.

I married my daughter's father when we were both 18. My dad didn't like him, and his mom didn't like me. She waited on him hand and foot and, if I tried to do anything for him at her house, she intercepted me. It's funny now that I think back about it, but at the time it was anything but funny. They have passed now, so I'll let them both rest in peace. ;-D Edited 31-Jul-24 05:17am

I can't offer any advise here because, while my in-laws lived 10 minutes away for almost 45 years, before their passing, we had never had a cross word. My parents lived 5 minutes away, for 45 years as well, before their passing, and they loved my wife more than me, their son. We both were very lucky.

the problem is that it so hard for them to let go of their son or daughter

Been married 3 times so 3 sets of inlaws, none of whom liked me. Never went out of my way to be either nice or nasty to them but let it be known I didn't really give a s**t whether they liked me or not, I didn't marry them and their daughter didn't need their permission to marry me.

Luckily no and now that im a mother in law I have a great relationship with my sons wife. They live with us!

Thats why I am not married.

same here

Not yet as we don’t speak the same language lol

I experienced this through out my entire marriage and it’s been heartbreaking. I’ve had to attend therapy to help deal with the rejection and rude behaviour. I decided long ago to be around them as little as possible as it doesn’t matter what you do they will always be who they are! I chose peace over wanting them to accept me .

I lived two thousand miles away from family and did not stay in contact with my family. My ex-wife lived three thousand miles away from her family and did not stay in contact with her family. Our families never found out we were married to each other for twelve years. Our families were out-of-sight, out-of-our minds, out-of-our-business - which made them the PERFECT in-laws!

Keep in mind, your husband and you are a team, meaning you have each other’s back and defend each other and your future children if you have any. It does not matter what the in-laws think and what their problems are. They have to play nice if they want to be included in your lives. If not, set the ground rules for behaviours and respectful communication and boundaries. Best wishes.Edited 31-Jul-24 02:15am

never had that situation,great respectful in-laws

I never had to deal with parents in law

I had a father in law that was a decent man and a step mother in law that I learnt to watch what I said around and my husband got along with his parents in laws as wellEdited 31-Jul-24 01:42am

own family little to no communication

had great in laws they even took the kids weekends

1 point.... There's often a reason why people don't like someone. Sometimes it could be due to incompatibility, not seeing eye to eye on things. Other times it's just over petty stuff. It takes time to get to know new people and trust has to be both ways, not just one. Some people don't realise they they might be annoying to others and that's why they are disliked. If someone doesn't like someone then you cannot make them. It's who you get on with in life that matters, and who you can trust. It doesn't affect me as i don't have that problem. Only my siblings have in-laws.Edited 31-Jul-24 00:23am

Haven't had that problem but I have booted relatives out of my home before

Set boundaries. You might end up being the one taking care of them one day.

THIS IS VERY HARD. FIRST TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND AND ASK IF YOU DO NOTICE AFTER THAT. IF THAT DOES NOT WORK, YOU HAVE TO SIT DOWN. LET'S SAY GO OUT FOR A COFFEE OR DO IT AT THEIR HOME AND JUST ASK WHAT YOU ARE DOING WRONG AND WHY THEY ARE PISSED WITH YOU, THIS MIGHT DO IT I HOPE MIKE

I asked my partner to intervene