Discussion of the Day
At church isn't used to be.
Mary M 32976215-Feb-25
I was at church, and the pastor was talking about why it s bad to gossip about people. He said it s like killing someone as a person. Then, someone called the pastor on the phone and started getting upset.
"If you gossip, there s no point in coming to church," the pastor said.
I have been gossiped about all my life at church, but I never called the pastor because of it. This is just one of many things people say. For example, today, a lady told me, "If you don t do the right thing at church, I will teach you." I smiled and said, "Teach me." Next time, she might "teach me" in a better way.
Why do people get upset so easily in today s world?
You can t say anything without offending someone. If the pastor didn t hear or understand the meaning of the words, why take sides?
People gossip in front of others and behind their backs every day without even realising it. Instead of calling the pastor, this person should have spoken directly to the person they had an issue with to understand the full story. Saying, "I won t go to church because of this person" doesn t seem right.
I don t feel like going anymore.
What should I do?.
Comments
  • I think some just go to church to meet new people, and not actually because of religion.
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    • Gossiping is like bullying. If it hurts people then you know it's wrong to participate in it. I agree with the pastor because of all of the above. He's just trying to keep the peace and make the church a nicer place to worship and help make people comfortable being there.
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      • I stopped going because all churches say that they care for people and respect one another’s religion but they all place their religion before others. I don’t go to churches to hear anything negative about others
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        • And so the point of attending church is ......?? Why are people so superstitious as to think it means something? Can you not live your own life without it??
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          • DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND STAY OUT IF THAT HELLHOLE!!
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            • It's the only intelligent solution....
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          • All humans are flawed and sin. You will always see others flaws including gossiping. We go to Church to work on our own flaws and to show God how much he is loved. If things are really bothering you, you might want to talk to that person but that doesn't mean they will see thing your way. Some people find it very hard to grow up and better themselves. Just remember you go to Church for you and since we all sin, there will always be those that stand out. Maybe part of growing is learning to block the hurtful comments of others.
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            • Why go to church, if this person hasn’t learn what is forgiveness. Learn to love. Love thy neighbour. 🫣🙏😇🙏
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              • You go to church. You go there to worship God, your Lord and Savior. He gets your Faith, not the laymen. We are all sinners, but the church is a hospital for the sick, and that's why we go.
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                • We should not gossip. As Christians we are to love others. Gossip is mean and demeans others so we should not do it.
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                  • You got to church to worship the Lord.Not people. Go back to the house of the Lord !
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                    • Best to keep your opinion to yourself so that it doesn't get taken out if it's content
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                      • I didn't say nothing this new came just came 5 time
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                    • You only need to worry about you. You answer for what you do and not anyone else. I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses and I allowed myself to be upset by what others were doing and decided if those were the people left after Armageddon I didn't want to be with them. I stopped going to meetings except for The Memorial but Brothers and Sisters still called to see me but eventually I realized I hadn't hurt or upset the people who had upset me but it was me who was missing meetings. It's up to Jehovah to decide who does and who doesn't survive Armageddon, not me, but as I do wish to be among the survivors it's up to me to get back to worshiping the Universal Sovereign. So you keep attending your church, you never know one day someone might call on you to tell you about The Kingdom and you too might be a survivor of the great tribulation. Prickly people with thin skin are simply a sign that we are in the last days of this system.
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                      • be good
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                        • best not to gossip
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                          • I don't gossip no-one.
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                          • Dimitri T 100433Mary M 329762
                            well done & keep it up Blessings
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                        • You should keep going to Church. Its difficult to get aĺong with other people but it helps you to grow spiritually. You learn to be patient and forgive others, no matter what.
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                          • I think it is not good to treat people in a negative way they may be going through a hard to . Better to be quiet or say something nice life is to short.
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                            • Ironic how so called Christians are the worse offenders at poor social skills....
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                              • The purpose of attending church is to worship our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. Have fellowship with other believers and be glad if you make a friend or two outside of church. But don't gossip. It's the quickest way to lose a friendship because if you gossip about someone, someone is gossiping about you.
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                                • I agree I don't gossip but people's gossip but ok but others don't like it's.
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                              • Ignore it! Strange isn't it? Now I can't write for other societies but people in Western Christian societies love to run around procl;aiming oh-so-proudly " I am a Good Christian, I go to Church whenever there is a sevice, I do Good Works, I believe every word of the Bible is, in fact, the very Word of God blah, blah, blah!". The they reveal just what sort of dishonest, lying bastards and hypocrites they really are with their endless gossiping, criticising, denigrating and standing in judgement of all others - all of which is, if Jesus really did exist, is totally contrary to all of his teachings. They invent and apply sins, misdeeds, question your morality, whilst they lack any themselves, The answer? Abandon all forms of Organised Religion - be it Roman Catholicism. Anglicanism, Evangelical, Mormonism etc. and Salvationist - from my experience the latter are the worst of all. You can still follow your faith, you can, if you truly believe it helps, still pray, lead a decent, kind, honest life. I, much to my parents disapproval, abandoned even the belief in some other-worldy, omnipotent. omniscient, all-seeing, hearing being when I was 9 years old simply becaus of all of the above. Go your own way, you don't need others to tell you how to live your life.
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                                • "Where 2 or more are gathered together in my name" said Jesus then I am with them". All this talk of gossip - why do this in church? That was surely not the message he intended. I seem to remember conversations going on outside my church as a child - as I grew up I found that was not what I was there to hear - I presumed there were talking spots ladies and gents could have through the week but not in church, surely!
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                                  • May God have mercy on you all
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                                    • Do as you wish. If you feel so uncomfortable or unconnected with your own church/ pastor then find another. I was raised Catholic,we had an Irish Catholic priest. He was very old and spoke only of the old testament. If not for the younger priests that came into our parish I would have left. According to scripture we ate all sinners,none is perfect. I grew up believing that God was our judge,it was not our place to judge others. I don't go to church often,if at all. Everyone's life is a personal journey,and my beliefs are my own. Do what makes you happy,your journey,your choice.
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                                      • People these days seem to get upset at the drop of a hat. It doesn't matter what you do or say. The best thing is to just examine your own heart and how you stand with God and go from there. I think of the words of the Apostle Paul himself in Romans 12 when he said, 'As far as it depends upon you, leave at peace with everyone'.
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                                        • Well you shouldn't talk about other people
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                                          • Follow your heart, only you can decide what’s right for you
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                                            • I'm not religious at all but I pray everyday at home and find praying in a beautiful flowered garden that I'm closed to God. People who gossip about others because they aren't happy in their own lives, they are jealous of you, wish they were you or scared of you
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                                              • No one wrote the 11th commandment don,t get caught.
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                                                • gossiping is everywhere incl at work and people still have to attend work no matter how bad the gossiping is :(
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                                                  • My Church is Catholic ,Michael
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                                                    • So.
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                                                  • Please stop worrying, humans are humans, and churches are full of broken people, and sorry to say you just gossiped yourself, you would have, in my humble opinion, been better to share what you feel with the pastor, he might have made a great sermon out of it and it would have . maybe, helped a lot of people. SMILE the churches are not perfect you and I are members. Blessings
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                                                    • Well said Jania. God bless you.
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                                                  • I thought the 7 commandments were most important ???
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                                                    • If you enjoy the sermons, lessons, hymns, most of the fellowship, the children (if there are any), then don't worry about what other people think, go, enjoy, live in peace.
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                                                      • Most people think of church as a building, a service but in actual fact the Church is a place where the people, the real church, gather to praise & worship our God, His Son Jesus Christ and to hear/learn how to draw closer to Him and to live more like Him each day. He ca.e to love us and show us a better way to live, keep attending church services, try a different one, if you like and where your heart feels settled & safe, continue to attend there. I promise you, if it is a real church you will enjoy it and be changed into a new & happier person, full of real joy and love 🙂
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                                                        • Why do you need to go to Church? Do you need it to connect with God or people?
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                                                          • There is on one God - Money.
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                                                            • The younger generation are just a bunch of pussies, they need to harden up and get some backbone.
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                                                              • ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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                                                                • One goes to church for the spirituality it affords you. There should be no other reason and it should be something between you and your God and maybe the pastor.
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                                                                  • Mary the most important thing is that you have a close and personal relationship with God. People are responsible for their own thoughts and words. Don't let anyone take away that relationship - pray for them! Busyasabee - Trucks of food was brought into Gazza but was taken by the soldiers who invaded through underground tunnels to attack Israel.
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                                                                    • Yes, there is pure evil in israel. And the world watched it happen and pointed their fingers yet did next to nothing. It is very sad but zionism has taken over israel and I feel sorry for the people living in Palestine.
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                                                                  • Look it is your church and you should keep going. Don't let the bullies ruin church for you. Stay strong and proud of who you are. Be taught by others and learn the right ways. Good luck and I do hope things improve for you and you're a good person so keep that in your mind and heart.
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                                                                    • Gave it all up
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                                                                      • Gave that all up years ago
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                                                                        • Can someone explain to me why God doesn't answer the prayers of the people in Gaza or the hungry and their suffering. I cannot understand why such dreadful things happen, yet all the prayers do nothing. Religion in my opinion has been the cause of all the suffering. And don't even get me started on Catholicism and the Priests
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                                                                          • Grow up! You don't even understand how religion works.
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                                                                          • 100% agree with you
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                                                                          • Not only Catholic priests
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                                                                        • I really wouldn't worry about it. People will talk about good, bad, in between regardless of who they are and what they do. Maybe they enjoy doing this but that's their problem and not yours. When I was working I think I heard it all, some people think they are better than others and they want everyone to think they way they do. I learnt to keep my mouth shut and tried to ignore it all. Unfortunately in this day and age with everything happening it might get worse and it's not just people who go to church. It really is up to the individual to make their own decisions. Don't change your opinion or beliefs because other people think they can change you to be better. Stay strong and true to yourself you deserve it. Good luck 😊
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                                                                          • What I have learnt in life is to never be offended. I go to a great church based on the bible only. Not man made traditions. The church is the body of Christ.Nobody is perfect...
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                                                                            • Our church burnt down after a lightning strike. Apparently lightning is an act of God.
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                                                                            • i attend church for me to be closer to jesus with singing and learning more of the bible teachings to live a peaceful life with my brothers and sisters as we are told in god's word (the Bible) Ignore the gossips and live your own Christian life
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                                                                              • Read the Bible, In Matthew it talk's about speaking direct to people instead of about them.!!!.
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                                                                                • I don't remember much about church, except being dragged outta there by my Dad, who then proceeded to hit me outside the Church
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                                                                                  • In the beginning God made Adam and out of one of his ribs made his partner Eve. The reason Eve was made was to show Adam that he didn't need to chat about other people as his partner would let him know what was going on. That is why through th centuries it has always been a woman that has told the male what is going on and stretches the truth and gets mean to those they didn't like or were jealous of. Males dont gossip they dont need to as their female friends relations wives etc tell them everything that is going on even if they have no interest whatsoever in what is being gosspied about. Therefore if you dont like the gossip dont listen to it or just walk away. Sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you.
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                                                                                    • What a load of bollocks Hilary.
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                                                                                    • Nice if you were taught to respect your elders.
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                                                                                    • Bill CHilary P 701184
                                                                                      I am 75 nice if people respected others at all.
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                                                                                    • Just noticed your comment - I am 79 4 years older than you so not used to words like bollocks when a discussion is read by all and replies made politely. The beer must have gone to your writing hand. Ha ha enjoy your day no hard feelings only 1 point for my reply to Mary not worth any further comments.
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                                                                                  • I dont go to church
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                                                                                    • Christians eh? Not much turning of the other cheek in that story……..lol
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                                                                                      • Rise above it. We all have challenges. You are at Church because of God not the Pastor or the gossips. It is their problem not yours.
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                                                                                        • Mary your story is not very clear for me, I don't clearly understand but I can make a comment about gossipers. As a past church goer, I saw the light and now I am a atheist, I too have seen many times when people gossiped about others. But church goes are not any different in non church goes, we all gossip. The only difference I see is that the church goes are back biting hypocrites. Pretending because of the church affiliation to be oh so good and tolerant of others while gossiping. Like I said hypocrites !
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                                                                                          • Everyone gossips to a certain extent.
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                                                                                            • Maybe, but we are aware. That it is not right.
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                                                                                          • I do not understand what this person actually means, however, at church the other Sunday the Paster started his talk with "The only drama place is the grave", I loved this as anywhere you go or belong to it is the truth, & if the paster is worth his salt & you read & study the Bible if you do not agree with him or her you can challenge in a respectful way & sort out any differences you see in what you are being told.I h ave experienced this & it has always ended up in a positive way.
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                                                                                            • Those who throw mud at you are making you a rich person. The more soil you own, the richer you become. Most gossipers are people who are jealous of you. Don't allow Satan's workers (gossipers) keep you away from church.
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                                                                                              • all religioun is man made Religion has been thr cause of most wars. Just be a good person and do what you think is right. No one is perfect
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                                                                                                • Our church is based on the day of Pentecost. If you are attending a bible based church it goes by the word of God. Not the Pope for example. It's of the spirit not the flesh. Read Acts 2:38 if you're interested.
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                                                                                              • Pray for them and ask God to open their eyes. I wouldn’t go anywhere near them but that’s just me, you could try talking to them but not sure how that would turn out. But leave it in Gods hands.
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                                                                                                • NEVER stop going to church because of what someone said or did! You are not there for the drama, and people will be people regardless of where they are. You are there for the experience of learning and growing your faith. It is about you--not them or how they behave. We all do and say things we shouldn't. That's why Jesus died for our sins. Because we are human and not perfect, He gave us the option to be saved and forgiven. We all sin everyday whether it's gossip or something else that we may not even realize it's a sin. Issues will arise in church, at work, at home, literally anywhere! It is how we handle them that matters. I wouldn't get the pastor involved. It is being an adult, loving each other and working it out between whoever is involved in a peaceful, loving manner. Learn from it, grow you sould and remember why you are there. If you need to ignore certain people to keep peace and enjoy your spiritual experience there, then do so. If it escalates and involves more people, then speak to the pastor. He/she should never tell you not to come back to church. He/she should be able to address the congregation and work things out peacefully. The pastor needs people in his church, and his/her reputation is at risk. If this problem becomes worse, then you can look for another church which I don't think you should need to do, but the pastor isn't perfect either! Good luck, keep the peace and worship in a place that you are comfortable with and that enriches you!
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                                                                                                  • Each experience we have in life, is a life lesson, can't just run away from an issue becasue you do not know what to do about it? (doesn't teach you anything). - and you tend to make the same 'mistakes' over and over until you do learn it. This is not alot about the church or gossips, its about how you deal with things. Learn to stand up for yourself? Gossips are really bullies who pick on the weak, don't let that be you. People get so easily offended these days because most have little resilience left to let these things wash over, instead react negatively, against people, sumtimes over the top reactions. So build your own resilience, learn to say no, ground yourself to the earch daily, as much as you can. Learn yoga, tai chi, meditation get into the ocean, the beach, your garden (bare feet to the bare earch as much as you can) , basically out in nature. Use essential oils, change any bad lifestyle choices you are making. (smoking, drinking, drug taking, bad diet). All these things help raise your own resilience. Once you feel stronger, the gossips, and what they say, will just wash over you, and you can keep smiling and go to church if you still want to :) xxx
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                                                                                                    • Firstly religion is a personal topic, Over the years I have noticed that the way the churches/priests has changed along time ago, it has also changed the prespective of peoples views towards religion and how its pushed alot people in a different direction.One thing that annoyes me the most is when priest talks about the football grand final that does not relate to any religious topic.
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                                                                                                      • I don't go to church.
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                                                                                                        • Do you go for the social aspect or to hear someome preach to you Stay home with your own belief and avoid the gossip
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                                                                                                          • I haven't been to church since I was about thirteen. After seeing the behavior of some of the adults it absolutely turned me away from church and religion.
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                                                                                                            • DONT GO! THERE ARE SOME WELL MEANING SIMPLETONS THAT GO ALONG BUT I FIND MOST BIBLE BASHERS ARE HYPOCRITS
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                                                                                                              • Look to Jesus who you went to worship. STOP looking at people, they will disappoint you ALL the time.
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                                                                                                                • Some people gossip because they are lonely or they have nothing better to do. Don’t get involved in the gossip and just ignore it.
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                                                                                                                  • a church is a place to get to gether with others with love for.. him ..? and OTHERS BRYAN
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                                                                                                                    • I think learning how to understand people who have shortcomings can and will eliminate the need to gossip. No one is 100%.
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                                                                                                                      • Now if Preists are going to pay Neo's counter part with all that Donated money, don't go.
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                                                                                                                        • Churches? I have nothing to do with them. Except the day my Aunty forced my parents to get me baptised when I was 4, a few other times with my Aunty, and the day I was married, and the day I spoke to the preist there about arranging a marriage. I could see he wanted to put me down then in some other way, But I just said "look I know something about you, and I'll bring it up if you don't stay reasonable with this" And he had to shut up. Once A young lady had told me, there was an old preist over there she saw every friday ( I didn't understand what she was talking about at the time, though I figured it out later). So I asked him how he paid for it, and he had to admit it was with all the money put in each weekend. So there is a good reason to stay away from Churches.
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                                                                                                                          • Doesn't sound like a very nice church! I'm very religious, I talk to god and thank him all day long for everything he does for me . I'll never understand the need for a church other than maybe to get the community together. God is always with us, he doesn't live in a box and only sees you Sundays when you show up! He's deeply intertwined in everything we do and feel and believe
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                                                                                                                            • Maybe change church? Sometimes there are evil people at church who hide under the guise of being good people. Sometimes its better to just stay away.
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                                                                                                                              • Sorry to say haven't been church in awhile.
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                                                                                                                                • A religion is making up their rules. A religious church wants you to follow their rules and regulations and stay within that box. Churches of different types hate each other and don't agree with each other. Their are many different churches who believe that their religious dogma is correct and they don't want you to go to a different church. You are sinned if you do not follow my church and it's dogma. Search and find a faith that suits you and that you feel comfortable with.
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                                                                                                                                  • when people talk behind my back i fart and move on
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                                                                                                                                    • You asked, "Why do people get upset so easily in today's world?" The answer is: Because Satan, the Devil, is ruling over the earth right now! Revelation 12:7-9. Go to: jw.org, and learn the Truth! The Bible does condemn gossiping, and we try very hard to be respectful of everyone, especially our brothers and sisters in the congregation, but we are all human with sinful tendencies, and sometimes make mistakes. We are encouraged to be peaceable among our members, and to repair any hurt feelings quickly! 1 Timothy 5:13; Proverbs 20:19; Proverbs 25:9, 23; Matthew 18:15-17. (jw.org can answer any questions you have! Just type in your question in the search box!) ;-D
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                                                                                                                                      • So Satan, created by your god, is to blame..... does that not make it your god's fault? Can't you see how malicious and conniving your god is? MY god would never be THAT naughty! READ: anything intelligent
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                                                                                                                                      • Is Trump a manifestation of Satan, or is It Putin?
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                                                                                                                                    • Laundry mat is for dirty laundry.
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                                                                                                                                      • Pastor shouldn't have taken the call, if he was conducting a service. People will gossip anywhere, lets you know which people to avoid. I reckon that if they are picking on me, they are leaving others alone.
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                                                                                                                                        • If you don't feel like going then don't go. It's that simple. There's no point going and hating being there. I quit going to Church years ago. I personally knew of two Priests and one Orthodox Rabbi who had affairs with several young women. One Priest even Raped a disabled girl for 14 years. It was all over the Newspapers. Two other Priests made sexual advances towards me and I reported both of them. I don't need to sit there and listen to their hypocritical sermons pretending to be "holier than thou" while they are doing filthy things in secret behind closed doors. You can pray at home where it's just you and God, just like Abraham did.
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                                                                                                                                          • Try and show kindness and forgiveness. Let the hurt go otherwise it'll affect you for years.
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                                                                                                                                            • The church is exactly what it used to be. Its the people that have changed.
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                                                                                                                                              • Well said and nothing further to add. Have a good day.
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                                                                                                                                            • Amen. Far too many only go to church on Easter Sunday churchgoing to be seen Christians. Not enough everyday , be the best person I can be Christians.
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                                                                                                                                              • You dont have to go to church to be a good christian as long as you are a good person and do the right thing you are better than those that go to church then do bad outside its totaly up to you just live a good loving life and beleive in your self and God thats all you need to do
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                                                                                                                                              • I believe you can worship and don't have to go to church.
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                                                                                                                                                • I'm a Christian, but not sure that a secular survey site is the best place to disscuss Gossip and Church. You probably will be mocked or missunderstood.😀
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                                                                                                                                                  • do what feels right to you
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                                                                                                                                                    • I have been 'godless' since age 16 (now 50) when I left home with Catholicism forced upon me and better off for it. You don't need a building to practice your faith, look at those using prayer mats wherever they are.
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                                                                                                                                                      • i once put a check in the plate, made out to god, as the fellow up there preaching said god needed the money, 50 years and the check never been cashed, i reckon he musta found some......
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                                                                                                                                                        • At church isn't what it used to be is not a valid question. It is gibberish
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                                                                                                                                                          • Good morning Mary, I love what lovely LA has to say here (10 comments back). And never forget God has your back 🙏🏼
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                                                                                                                                                            • I’m anti religious, wasn’t always brought up catholic,very staunch Just keep going and enjoy it for urself.regarding the side story Not your circus 🎪 not ur monkeys
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                                                                                                                                                              • Do it urself
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                                                                                                                                                                • stay away from religion, nothing but murder English Catholic church trying to exterminate native Indians Catholic and protestants fighting in Ireland Muslims trying to genocide Hindus Islam suppressing women etc. . The list goes on, no religion, peaceful world
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                                                                                                                                                                  • Your comments are disgraced. Even racist against whites. Mind your own mouth and business!
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                                                                                                                                                                • Exactly
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                                                                                                                                                                  • Find a religion that does’nt support war,try JW.Org.
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                                                                                                                                                                    • I wish What made me leave Priest told Australians to join the war for God ?he wants peace! Queen , I wish we. We’re a republic and country that we are stuck in since the commonwealth A nightmare a British sovereign sacked our prime minister in the day Gough whitlam If you google name, you’ll see how far ahead he was for us… Yanks didn’t like his outspokenness either hint,hint
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                                                                                                                                                                    • No such thing as "No War." War is allowed on two conditions - to protect your Community and your family. Wouldn't you protect your family if someone came into your house and tried to kill them?
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                                                                                                                                                                    • JW.Org is an insecure site, and also that religion is very oppressive and strict.'
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                                                                                                                                                                  • Church is for offering yourself to Our Lord only
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                                                                                                                                                                    • Amen
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                                                                                                                                                                    • Church is just a building. You can offer yourself to God and pray at home.
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                                                                                                                                                                    • Frank K 593543Hello Kitty
                                                                                                                                                                      I do that most of the time.
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                                                                                                                                                                    • not all of them.
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                                                                                                                                                                  • May that be the biggest threat or problem we have to ignore today!
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                                                                                                                                                                    • You should find you another church. There is always gonna be people in every crowd that aren't happy if they are not causing drama. My Nana used to tell me that as long as people were talking about you, they hadn't forgotten you!! Let them talk. As long as you know it's not true & God knows it's not true, then don't worry about it. Don't stoop to their level.
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                                                                                                                                                                      • I totally agree with your Nana Renee. Thank you for sharing.
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                                                                                                                                                                      • Renee 1556074Debra D 624780
                                                                                                                                                                        you are welcome. My Nana was a smart lady!!
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