Love the person, hate the disease. Being with an addict is chaos & not at all easy or beneficial, except possibly to the addict. I would not be in a relationship with an addict, whether they were addicted when we first met or became (or relapsed) while together. Been there, done that...and have the t-shirt! Can you say DISASTER ?!

As the song goes..whats love got to do with it. If their behaviour is harming you or children and your own health safety sanity life is at risk..love means squat. I'm all talk tho. Sometimes fear makes you stay.

Yes if you really love them then you stick through the highs and lows.

No .. fk them off not worth dealing with.. !!

I think if the addicted person admits they have a problem, doesn't go into denial, and seriously tries to get help, then their partner should remain with them. If, however, they deny the problem and don't even try to get help, then leave and don't look back.

It depends on what they are addicted to

i used to have an addiction but through the support of G-d and my family we stayed together and are now free!!!

It depends on what kind of relationship you have with the person

No! If they can’t take care of themselves how can they help take care of anyone else. Plus it would cost a lot of money

Never.

It really depends on each particular cicumstance. Also I assume you are talking about drug addiction. Smoking and also alcohol can also be an addiction.

Nope!

It's a personal choice. Stay or go, it's up to you.

You certainly have to look after your own safety and also if you have children, but they have to want to get help for themselves.

NO. GET OUT WHEN YOU CAN

Do you put your make up on every day and then judge others

Only if and when the addict acknowledge the problem and gets help

Very difficult and very personal choice. Unfortunately, love doesn’t help, it just even harder to decide what to do.

Depends on the addiction and how they control it

If they are doing something to address their addiction and are committed then support. If not walk away. From my own experience they must show true commitment or they will always be an addict. This is their first love and priority not you.

Life is hard enough why make it worse

Simple answer...No! If the addict is getting help then sure but if they are not and refuse to admit they have a problem, definitely not. I was married to an alcoholic and put up with so much but the first time he assaulted me I had him arrested & packed his bags. Never again, it is just not worth it.

There are many forms of addiction alcoholism sexaholic drug addict then there is materialism addicts and people addicted to porn or food chocoholics or takeaway.Everyone addicted to something even sports or being in competition with people who aren't even interested in competing with others!!!

You may love them but there addiction is such that it rules your life as well as theirs.Finally I left as I could see he never wanted to change.

Isn't it up to that person to decide... Whether they want to cope with the issues that arise or can

No No No !

I think you have to leave in order to avoid risk of serious regressive harm. Try to arrange a detoxification for the afflicted person.

It depends on the situation and the person.

Most differently leave

like anything in life you must do what's best for you, not everyone can stay with an addict esp if they want to carry on that way, there is no one size fits all. Now if an addict is putting effort into getting clean that is a different story

I have to say that I know most addicts steal to get their drug of choice, but I never did. I would just suffer with withdrawals until I could get money to buy more. I guess my morals still stayed intact and I don't know why I did and so many others lose their ability to have morals if that's even the case. I have known (very, very few) that didn't steal as well. More have than haven't, but it's not a given just because someone is an addict. I still paid my rent, took care of kids, bills, etc.

I think it all depends on what you can deal with. I don't think you should just automatically give up on someone that's an addict, but we all have our limits and especially if you see they won't ever change. It's never easy being in a relationship anyway and then put addiction on top of it. Whew! I understand both sides because I am an addict and I have had to deal with addicts as well.

Do what's best for you with daily prayer

My wife is addict to loving me. I'm not about to leave her

They need to make an effort first by owning up to the addiction and seeking help to overcome it and only then would I stay with someone that had an addiction.

Only if they admit they have a problem and get the appropriate help.

A very difficult decision. Behaviour and circumstance each would play a role in the decision...

It would seem to me that if an addict really tries to quit, goes to rehab, and all that stuff you may just be able to support their sobriety. Statistics tell us it takes more than one try to get unhooked. That means some extended time of trial and tribulation. Some success and some failure are what you're looking for. Do not be afraid to protect yourself at all costs. What ever you do, don't allow an addict access to ANY money or property. You might stick with the person, but never, ever allow them to live in your house or even let them in to inventory your stuff. It's really too tempting no matter how hard someone is trying.

More details needed for addiction. Is it drugs,alcohol,gambling,internet,pornography,food

All depends on what the addiction is doesn't it?

You have to help yourself first

Really hard question. It depends on the circumstances, what damage it is causing and whether behaviour can change. I had a partner who was an addict and there were many times, I would leave and other times he would leave to get help. It has been a bumpy ride for the 30 years we were together. Many people said that I should leave, however he was a partner and friend and not a bad person just an addicted one. If I was to live my life again, I would probably not stick by him because there were many opportunities that I lost during my time with him

It depends on how much you love that person and how committed you are to them.

you cant help someone who doesnt want to help themselves. THAT IS a FACT without emotion.

If they refuse to accept help and abuse you in any way do not live with them. I have witnessed that and in the end it was not a pretty sight. If they are spending all the money on their addiction and there is simply no money for food why should you literally starve - and your children too if you are a Mum. If he is stealing to support his habit could you be accused of being an accessory. Some addicts are compulsive liars. Change your locks now if you haven't already done so.

Interesting question, if the addict seeks help and can beet it yes stay if you truly love them. Not all addicts can be rehabilitated, if they have been violent towards you in the past, it’s the age old saying leopards can’t change their spots. No run!

Toxic people of any kind take a great toll on your life. They suck the life out of you. Some of us feel that with enough love and care we can "save" this person. I wasted 40 years of my life on a narcissist, I will not allow him back into my life for any reason. Not worth it. You were right to have left the addict. Slam that door shut because they will try to crawl back in.

The very last thing an addict needs is people leaving them. As hard as it might be they need you more than ever. Pull up your socks and dig in your heels. You might be in it for the long haul

I suppose it depends on each individual and the extent of the addiction. Personally, I would have no problem in leaving.

a difficult question. It depends on the person and what they are addicted to. It depends on how you feel about that person and if they are willing to get help

You don’t get to choose some relationships. The person with the addiction issue can be your mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter, you don’t get to just leave. Many people have addiction issues. Some addictions are just more socially acceptable than others. People who have addiction issues have other underlying problems that need to be addressed. Having your own strong boundaries in place in relation to their behaviours, and how you are impacted, is far more helpful than being yet another person who turns their back and walks away.

I guess that the consequences of the addiction are relevant, Can you isolate or protect yourself from those consequences? Can you tolerate the resultant behaviours?. Even an excessive addiction to accumulating knickknacks would be problematical whereas gambling or drugs impinge on your life and well-being, Tough love might might be best for you, but when it hits the road, the only person who can actually deal with the addiction is the addict,

I want to leave my alcoholic husband so bad even if it means me being broke. I’m exhausted and tired of cleaning up after him and he’s just too much. I’m too old for this. My kids are 27 and 18 I’m done tired and not mentally fit for this!

my sister son was and still a addict she was scared of him stealing what he could sell to stick it up his arm stealing money and getting in when she was not there sorry he made her life hell finaly got ride of him sadly she passed on but were ever he is i hope karrma gets him such a lovely little boy gone wrong he chose that life i have no felling for him

Lilfox I feel so sad for both of you but you only have one life and everyone makes their own choices. Addiction was not your choice and you have tried to help by staying for years and it made no difference. I will keep you in my prayers.

The problem with alot of addicted people is, they become co--dependant on the helper or helpers. They haven't not reached a level of maturation in their own lives, but they don't really care about those trying to help them.. It could be they haven't learnt to stop being helpless, like they are a young child. They need a mummy and daddy around them still . They might even enjoy the experience of having people help them, as they get more attention that way. I think the more you help them the worse they get.

There is no hard and fast rule. Addicts whether this is illegal drugs or prescription or alcohol can be extremely taxing on their family and friends. The key for me is if they are actually doing something to change their situation. If they are actively engaged in working on their issues, I'm 100% behind helping them to do so. If they are not taking responsibility for their actions and doing nothing to address their addiction and their behaviour was negatively impacting on my family members I would be less accommodating. If it was my kid, I would do everything I could to help them, but I would not endanger my other kid in the process.

Grow up Helen! She is not his mum and has no reason to apologise for someone else's trouble. We are adults arent we? Or at least some of us are! No time for goodie two shoe people. Take responsibility for your own actions as it's the only mature way in lifeEdited 10-Apr-23 10:41am

It really depends. Do you leave someone because they break their neck? Unfortunately, usually yes. (Years of experience in the industry). Do you leave someone because the gamble too much? Probably not. Lilfox1975 you describe this person first and foremost as an addict. It is obvious that you are not meant to be together as his addiction was your main concern. If he stole from you or hurt that is a different story but I know to many past addicts who just needed some help at the time. You say you left for your own mental health, well if that is what you needed, then you did the right thing. No one wants to be dragged down but just remember that your ex is a person first and foremost. They have an addiction. To describe them as an addict is extremely demeaning. Contrast the rich of world who are addicted to money and effect everyone on the planet because of it. A yet these people are not called addicts.

What has happened to the person you dated?

I guess it does depend on whether you love some one enough to help them get through the worst time of their lives and only as long as they are willing to get help and beat the addiction. I am curious why you joined a site that helps with this as an issue in the first place because you aren't in that boat any more. Were you just curious or were you seeking support for your self? I find this all rather strange and you aren't the one suffering with a person going through this as you left like you say. I am finding this rather selfish and it would certainly be some thing I wouldn't do unless I was in that position because the services are there to help people facing a crisis in their lives and needing and wanting that support which you are not really going through. The person with the addiction needs and has to want to change for themselves and go through what needs to be done to get passed the addiction and some times that is a mental hospital or a home.

My family is full of different kinds of addicts. You must take care of you! You can lead them to help but if they don’t take it you have to take care of you. My husband is an alcoholic and until I was really ready to leave he finally stopped drinking. My son in law is a heroin addict and has finally stopped. It is very hard because today it is so available.

It depends what they're addicted to. Maybe if you know they're not going to violently chace after you, you could try leaving them on a short term basis and after testing it see if it's better or worse.

it takes a person of fortitude to stay with an addict, if they are trying to help themselves and you still care /love them then yes if not get out, you are not doing them or yourself any good.

I wouldn't . . . but maybe that's just me.

Save yourself first as these people can break you .If they love you as much they themsleves will seek support if you keep hand holding them they dont bother because you put up with it.Tough love in these cases may save many lives and earn back respect.The addict needs to address THEIR problem and be willing to committ to cleaning themselves up.Time is something we never get back don't waste a minute of it .

An addict to what? Crosswords? sport? Please when asking a question make it clear. I assume you mean drug addict? There are many addictions.

If the addict is trying to self help, you might stay to reinforce better behaviour. Otherwise it's Me first, Me second and Me third. Kick the addict out. Either your morals will corrupted and you may become addicted or you will have mental health issues. BIG TIME!

One life, you choose how to live it supportive or resented no write or wrong.

I am addicted to myself and so will stay.

obviously, you care about the person, but you can't help them when they alter what makes you tick, there defiantly comes a time when then the tough love rule applies, good luck to you, hope things turn out, but cut off the support addicts need to hit rock bottom to realize what they're doing, I was hit by a car riding a bike and became addicted to codeine, it got me back to work quicker, for 20 years i pumped that stuff into my body, when I stopped I needed help from my family which I got, and things sorted themselves out, so I was lucky, I have a few conditions because of that abuse but I am a happily retired grandfather now, and I won't take a panadol, it's a hard call depending on what your situation is, god bless and I wish you the best,Edited 10-Apr-23 08:53am

I would say if they want to get clean and you love them then stay and help. If, however, you think they will do it for you forget it. Your mental health and physical health is important.

You really have to think about yourself first. There is no reason to put up with abuse whether it is physical or mental. You can't help anyone anyway if you are in no position to help yourself. Then there is the other matter of the undesireable criminal element they are involved with in order to get their drugs. Do you really want to be a revenge target on this person's behalf if the dealer or gang come after them because they owe them for drug money? You will be dead and the druggie will most likely be alive because these people want their money and your death is only a lesson to the druggie of "you are next if you don't pay us".

My mother did and it eventually killed her, not my father who survived for another 5 years. Love is a fickle beast and sometimes we dont choose who we love, and also there's a fine line between support and them using you, this is a tough question to answer

When saving someone from drowning in the sea you must be careful and competent in what you do. At least you need to be a good swimmer. Otherwise the stricken person will drown you as well. If not competent in saving addicts don't do that. Stay safe. Leave it to professionals. Carry on with your life without addicts.

If the person I loved and respected and loved me was definitely trying to kick their addiction then yes I would stay and support. If I found that they weren't putting in the effort to kick the habit I would leave and never go back.

Think there comes a time when one must look after one's own health. If the addict is causing big issues and will not get help and make a real effort to help themselves what is the point in messing up your own life. Each must take responsibility for own actions.

NO

I would have done what you did to have a better life for your self I say good on you for doing what was the best for you

it depends on your relationship...stay and save him...leave if you can't care.

No

Depends on who it is and what the addiction is. There are many high functioning addicts. But there are also addicts that have given up on life. But realistically, if the benefits outweigh the cons, stay! Otherwise go off and do your own thing.

Drug addicts are just useless humans. You wonder why they were ever born! People being bashed and robbed by drug addicts. I feel sorry for the victims of drug addicts, not really the drug users. Edited 10-Apr-23 06:46am

Everyone has to make their own decisions about their situation. 😁

Addiction!!! A very diverse subject, especially as there are so many, and then there’s the functioning addict! It is the behaviour changers that most affect others, and bottom line from my experience is by staying with a chronic alcoholic or drug addict, you are enabling them, and loosing your own self esteem, under there control. An addict must get to the point where they ask for help, and begin their journey of recovery. A functioning addict, will eventually have to find a way to help themselves, even if the addiction is sugar. all lead to one’s detriment, and the consequences will be on one’s health and well being. Addiction, I believe is very much like a disease, such as cancer, it will affect you mentally , physically and spiritually. If you love someone with an addiction, let them go…there is so much help available!

It would be a hard situation. Depending if it is safe for you or is he/she contributing or are you paying all the bills. If children are involved I would definitely leave since this may harm their mental health.

The thing is to never date or get involved with drug users in the first place. That way you wont be caught up in their own spiral of misery. I'm amazed that anyone would want to even be involved with someone like that! Most of these people are just lazy bums who sit around taking drugs and don't want to work. In Australia... the government hands out money to them to sit around and do nothing. The government is feeding their addiction. Many will steal also to feed their next addiction. It needs to change.Edited 10-Apr-23 05:31am

NO JUST GET THEM HELP THAT IS NEEDED.

You did the right thing leaving. It's not for those other people to say that against you. I know exactly what these people can be like. They can be very manipulative and they say they will change, but they need to want to change. You cannot force them to give up drugs, and so you just give them that option, they either stop, or I'm leaving. Obviously that person didn't want to give up drugs so that person thought more of his drugs... than you. Yes, they drag you down with them the longer you stay. So to save yourself you were wise to leave. Don't feel guilty for leaving as it wasn't your problem that he took drugs. Each individual is responsible for their own life and how they choose to live it. Forget what those other people said to you and move on.

You are of no help or good to an addict if they are dragging you down or continually impacting you negatively, so despite your love, you must be apart. MUST!! Experience speaking here. They will always be an addict, till they decide it's over. Until time has proven them seriously sober, stay away for your own survival. Please. Go your separate ways. It doesn't mean you don't love HIM. It means you have to be in a healthy relationship or you both go down. I stayed far too long bc of LOVE. Unwise decision. You know in your heart what u need to do. Now gather your strength and self-respect and stay away. If he gets clean and stays clean for a couple years, you're probably safe going back, unless you have found someone else by then that brings out the best in you and you are safe and secure with. Please heed this firsthand advice. You'll regret it down the line if you don't and you CANNOT get time back. This is YOUR life we are talking about and you are far more worthy than you can imagine of more than this seriously detrimental cycle you are in. I pray you go your own way.Edited 10-Apr-23 05:02am

Listen to your heart and soul. You will find the right answer

It is not your responsibility to help these people for it is their choice to become clean

If you feel that you have done all you can to help that person to get on the path to recovery and they do not, cannot, or will not, then you need to part ways in order to preserve your sanity lest you end up on the same path.

It's hard. You don't know until you are in those shoes

Leave or make them leave. A former addict has done what they need to do to preserve the relationship . An addict however will do whatever they can do to use their partner to continue to support their destructive habits. Never feel bad for removing yourself from being used

No one can say what they will do until they are in a situation. Best of luck.

NO, run, do not walk, run and do not look back.

NO

My answer is NO (you 'never' remain with an addict/junkie/chemical substance abuser - unless you are her/his pusher - LMFAO)! Furthermore, being an addict/junkie/chemical substance abuser is NOT a DISEASE (you bail on the asshole - immediately) - LMFAO!Edited 10-Apr-23 06:28am

Difficult to answer for me as a parent of one. I cannot and will not leave. In fact that is the reason he is probably still here and doing much better nowadays, But it did nearly get to the stage where I was going to take the drug advisors advice. Which is always let them fall . As far as they can go . When you think they've hit rock bottom there is usually worse to come. You are still in the early stages of the whole affair if you are trying to look after them / save them from themselves, run them to the dr's office, make sure there is food ready for them etc. Dosage their alternate medications from the dr .. No! They are the one's and only they can do that. If they know where to get the drugs / alcohol then they know where to go to get the help also . Remember that part. But each case is as individual as the person is and I do believe that a consistent safe place for this person to be is important. You make it clear that you don't live that lifestyle and you won't tolerate these things being on your property or the person being affected by them while they are there. So if they want to stay they are clean while they are there. If not they stay elsewhere. But they have the knowledge that support and help is there always. Tough love . If you are being stolen from or physically abused then you have no choice . Out and make it clear !