have a friend who was visiting a cemetery and said she saw a tombstone that read: "beneath this sod lies another"

no once your dead thats it i made no mention of loss or grief, a funeral service is bullshit, the only winner is a funeral director

both mourn first party later

Both

depends on the deceased person's circumstances. I've known more than a few of my friends who were happy to be out of misery when they finally died, due to ill health/debilitating illness. Others were/are terrified of death. Others still, where the 'mourners' were there, to make sure the person was indeed dead. For the most part (although there are certainly exceptions), young people/children's funerals are sad occasions. But if the deceased lived a good life, (ie was a good person), and/or is now free from a bad situation, they can be joyous occasions.

Celebrate their entry into Heaven.

You grieve the loss ,but you celebrate their life & the contribution they made. It is great to talk to family & old friends & laugh at the the anecdotes they share

Depends if you know where your going. If you have made peace with Jesus your maker its a time to celebrate. If you have not made peace with your maker I suggest you do it very soon. Then you will know where your going and it will be a time to celebrate.

I think it depends on who has passed away.but have you ever noticed in the church people cry but when they have coffee after the service they are all laughing.i also think people don't check up on the immediate family after and people turn up even though you haven't heard from them for years ...my son's I grieve for till this day but we did have wakes for them to celebrate their lives .and we still celebrate their birthdays and their anniversaries they may be gone from the physical world but I keep their memories alive as their still part of my family

Difficult to discus this one as I don't want a funeral. Rather just get cremated and let the family spend the money on something else.

Mourn at first, but on the day it's a celebration of their life

First mourn, then celebrate ...........

There is a time to grieve but must have a celebration of the life as well

I think amongst the tears there needs to be some laughter too as we remember not only the sad but happy and hilarious times as well.

mourn not morn get it right

My brother & I provided palliative care for our mum at her home for 2 months,it was the most rewarding experience ever,she wasn’t in any pain just slowly slipping away,I can recall her horror when I took her to the bathroom & wiped her as I should she started crying saying it was embarrassing that her son had to do this,I said to her “mum you wiped my butt when I was growing up,no more tears” after that,the whole process of dying at home in your own bed in no pain was I will never forgetEdited 17-Apr-21 17:45pm

Depends who it is

Bit of both!

Both - you mourn the loss but celebrate the precious time you had with the person. I have told my lot I want a bloody big party when I go or I'll come back and haunt them!

dont care what

Both. But during COVID made things more difficult or my father decided he didn’t want a funeral. It’s up to the person

You mourn them in your heart and you share the memories you have of the deceased with family and friends. Sometimes you continue on with the causes they're passionate about like charity work.

Better the morn than the eve

I don't believe in cremation. One of my relatives wants that. It's against what my ancestors did. But it's good to plan ahead. Just a simple one for me. No frills.

I'd have thought that respect and regret would have been the first thoughts

mine is going to be a celebration of my life with a big party after

I think this depends entirely on several factors ... how old the person was, circumstances of their death and how a family views their loss

You need to grieve & celebrate by attending the funeral with family members & with other guests & friends.

A bit if both but it mainly revolves around the person who has died.

I think its both of it to morn for the lost one and to celebrate there live

Definitely a little of both. It is nice to celebrate a person's life and speak of what they have done in there life they are good memories to share. Grieving is something that is going to happen regardless of a celebration or not that is a natural process to go through after losing a loved one. And the length of time varies for each person, time heals and they are forever in your heart.

TO REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD TIMES OF YOUR LOVED ONES LIFE

A celebration is the wrong word to use! Reminiscing of there life is more appropriate!Edited 17-Apr-21 13:38pm

Definitely to celebrate a person's life

Bit of both. I made sure to tell memorable but funny stories at my Dad's funeral but it was still very sad. It always takes time.

Both...

Unless you are cold hearted you will mourn the loss of an important person in your life but it is also important to celebrate them and their life, their achievements and all those great times you had together and dont forget those funny stories and as time goes by remember/think of them occasionally. While even just one person remembers they are never really gone. My Dad died 18 years ago and every year around the anniversary I go down to the cemetery and have a whisky(Good single malt) with my dad, sit and think/reflect. He gets his own wee dram and when we leave its poured onto the ground above where his ashes lay

Mourn and reflect on their life. Talk to others about their relationships with the deceased and enjoy some funny stories or learn something new about them.

In both cases should be simplified.

A celebration is not necessarily a party

England has put a limit on people attending funerals. I don't agree. They even did this in Australia last year due to Covid19. Ten .

Both.

Mourn and celebrate they go hand in hand with remembering the person who has passed, remember, laugh cry, have a gathering after service to do more of this, and most of all, remember the person

The costs of funerals seem to keep going up too. Many people don't even plan their funeral arrangement until it's too late. It's then left up to those left behind. To do, especially when they are in mourning.Edited 17-Apr-21 11:03am

I don't agree with the party aspect of funerals. Tho depends on the age of the person. For some relatives it's just atime for them to catch up on all the family gossip.... Stuff their face with food, drink alcohol ,at the service. Those types of people make me sick!Edited 17-Apr-21 10:59am

I have planned my funeral and want it to be a time of memories - mourning is essential for the healing of the heart after a death but boozy parties I consider to be very disrespectful.

morn and have a party to remember all the fun times and laughs that you shared with your loved one

I don't attend funerals. It's not compulsory. Some even don't understand that. But it's away of avoiding particular relatives that you can't stand! There are other ways to remember them. A notice in the paper, pray for them. Flowers sent to their grave. I haven't been to any. It doesn't mean you didn't care abt them.Edited 17-Apr-21 10:45am

Morn, but a celebration of the deceits life.

Grieve,but celebrate their life.

Funerals are the times where you remember the deceased's life and celebrate what that person had done. It is also a time to grieve. I believe that both celebrating and grieving helps you cope. Even after 40 years I still think of my brother-in-law who was sadly taken away far too young at the age of 17 (he would have been my best man and I was proud to have him as such.)

I grieve

Depends on your view and memories of the deceased person. It can be happy memories or it can be a chance to grieve the fact that they are gone. Most people would want you to remember the happy or good side of them.

Why can it not be both? Grieving can take many forms but I hope my family and friends will celebrate my life with laughter and song. I would love to follow in my Great Grandfather's steps. He was Irish and as he realised his days were drawing to a close he arranged his own wake, with whiskey, food, entertainment including lots of Irish singing and dancing. However he said, "If I am paying for all of you freeloaders to enjoy my food and drink, then I am going to be there and enjoy it as well and I want to hear all the nice things you say about me now while I am still alive." And he did! Apparently he was literally the life and soul of his own wake. I never knew him but my father said it was the best night ever and a wonderful way to remember him.

funeral reflect on the past and give hope for the future...I hope....

depends what the person wanted

some people want to morn the passing of their loved one and some want to celebrate that their loved one has gone and no longer suffering and also are with their loved ones who have gone on before. That doesn't mean they don't miss their loved one.

To me funerals are just so sad

Try spelling morn mourn and I might engage more.... But.. I came into the world with no fanfare and I'll leave the same way. Funerals are for funeral directors, florists and caterers.

Both are acceptable

grieve

I think you can both celebrate a person's life and grieve for the loss. Also I had a very interesting experience when my mum died. I expected to feel sad, as I had when others I knew well had died, but instead a feeling like relief washed over me. I was in the hospital with her before she died, and the felling swept over me a minute or so before she was actually pronounced "dead". When I thought about this, I realised I had been subjected to very long-standing emotional abuse from mum, which continued even after I left home. I've never heard anyone express a similar experience, but would be interested to hear from anyone who has.Edited 17-Apr-21 07:28am

Yes, we should mourn but also enjoy reminiscing over their past life. After all, they had an interesting life and memories help to heal the sad moment

mourn and to celebrate that persons life

Avoid funerals - relatives who give sloppy kisses!

I will celebrate after funeral and mouth before that

It's a sad time but with our family it ends up being a party with hilarious memories. We always end up telling stories and hearing new ones. It's our way of saying you were a positive influence in our lives and always will be.

Loss

Its mourn not morn. Morn is the time of day whereas mourn is to grieve

I never celebrate person's life or grieve over the loss of that person before.

where you loved them or hated them it's a reason to celebrate their lives or death

My view is to mourn particularly if they are relatively young

Firstly it is to give the departed a dignified leaving of us with memories and few laughs if possible and to say goodbye in our own way. We then get together and share times but mostly just to decompress after usually a hard week.

The Irish have a good idea. Have a wake on your 75th birthday so you don't miss out on the fun.

Celebrate